hamburger helper

Luscious and Low Rent

You Know You Like It

(no subject)
Knives for a pro.
[Your Name Here]'s Famous Fake Hash Browns!

Can be halved. Probably should be halved.

- one half jicama
- oil (i.e. peanut oil)
- powdered starch (i.e. potato starch)

- onions (i.e. one small white onion, one small purple onion, and one shallot)
- garlic (i.e. eight cloves crushed and chopped
- salt (and other seasonings, i.e. your premixed mix of salt, pepper, marjoram, basil, and powdered garlic)
- ketchup (or hotsauce if you are one of those people)

To begin:
Chop jicama very very fine, matchstick cut if available. A mandoline slicer works great. Rinse the shredded jicama in a colander, like one would pasta. Grab a handful of it and SQUEEZE. Squeeze as you would a lover. Squeeze until paramedics arrive. Then squeeze some more. Now get a paper towel and squeeze. When that one fills up, do it with another towel. And a third time. You will be glad you did this.

Chop coarsely your extras such as onions and garlic. Mix it all in with the jicama. Do one more paper towel on the whole mess.

Go to the wok or frying pan you've been preheating, add some oil, and put the mess in the pan. Spread it out. Take a massively heaping spoonful of your powdered starch and spread it as evenly as you can. Toss everything until the starch is evenly spread with no clumps visible. Let it burn a bit, then add another heapingest spoon of starch and toss everything again. Toss and burn to your liking, but make sure the jicama is cooked through.

Plate, add ketchup, and enjoy.

I'll take three.

Random Casserole
Arbys Oven Mitt
So I posted another recipe on here with the mini pigs in the blanket but we still had one pack of the mini cocktail weenies left so decided to get creative with that one and some random items.

Came up with a casserole and no idea what to call it so it shall now be named Random Casserole.

2014-05-03 21.46.54

More pics and recipe under the cut

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Mini Pigs In a Blanket
Mountain J-Brew (Made by Allah Sulu)
I know there are tons of recipes for these online but I looked for almost an hour to find one for mini ones with cheese in them.

So here's what we came up with

2014-05-01 21.23.32

More pics and recipe under the cut

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Snickers "Slice N' Share"

Here a man demonstrates the normal-sized snicker next to a holiday Godzilla snickers.

Admit it...would you share?

Ramen Burger
あ - Starlight
Sorry to post twice in one day, but I've seen this trend for turning ramen noodles into bun patties going around, and it seems quite relevant to interests here.

Further, this gentlemen in general, The Ramen Rater, makes darn decent reviews of the delightfully trashy fave of broke folks everywhere, though today he featured a recipe version of just this dish, making unique and creative use of the included sauce packets as well!

 photo 88bfa6eb-79da-4c34-aa1b-d29eb119aab5_zps829293b7.jpg

This particular recipe happens to use a Korean package, and they call these noodles "ramyun".

The Ramen Rater’s Shin Ramyun Black Burger

1 Package Nongshim Shin Ramyun Black
ground beef
1 egg
2 slices processed cheese
frozen french fries
cooking spray
ketchup and mayonnaise

Explained with pictures at this linked site

Cup Noodle Restaurant
MJ - Eo
Speaking of hot dogs..

How about a hot dog flavored instant ramen complete with dehydrated slices?
Or wasabi-mayonnaise yaki soba? [Japanese chow mein]
Care to give "cheese burger" Cup Noodle a go?

And who doesn't love a good "Italian Curry", I ask you? Well, maybe Italy!

But what would trashy eats be without your freeze-dried vegetables, bastardized cuisines or styrofoam cups?!

I present a zen-like channel of food porn featuring various instant noodle delights brought to life and demonstrated for your hopeful delight.
May it inspire~

We begin our journey with a trip to a Cup Noodle restaurant. You heard me.

Yum yums
Isaac the giant goof
1 cake mix, any variety (I used carrot cake)
1 8oz container of Kroger-brand Cool Whip (any will do)
1 egg.
Bowl of powdered sugar

Mix first three ingredients.
Toss spoonfuls in powdered sugar
Place on pan (parchment paper makes it easy)
Bake at 350 for 12 minutes

Holy crap.

tummy hector

I had a load of spuds going off soon so this evening I cooked an enormous pot of mashed potato to freeze. I also had half a pack of tortillas that needed eating up so I added cheddar and microwaved myself a mash spud quesadilla. It was delish in a carby sort of way but it needed a lot of ketchup to give it some tang.

(no subject)
My mum came home with a dozen tins of sweetened condensed milk. Any suggestions of fun tasty things I can do with them, that will stop me from just digging in with a spoon?

Recipe Review & Follow Up
Geeky Girls
A few weekends ago, I made loaded potato buffalo chicken casserole and it was just amazing. Seriously, if you like loaded potatoes and buffalo chicken - make this tonight.

It's not entirely trashy in terms of preparation but, omg, it's awesome. I did not coat the potatoes in hot sauce as I wanted it to be tastebud friendly to anyone who ate it. It was still plenty spicy though. Also, I think I will use real bacon pieces found near the salad dressings instead of frying it. I really do not like frying bacon. That task is usually left to my husband. I poured a bit of ranch dressing on my serving which just made it even better.

As for my plea for help last weekend:

I made a stuffed shells dish and strawberry cake. The guys and my dad really really enjoyed it. For link happy people, I made:
I Hate Ricotta Cheese -Meat & 2 Cheese Stuffed Shells
Strawberry Refrigerator Cake - Essentially a boxed cake mix, pureed strawberries, cool whip & pudding. My guy has declared this as his favorite cake - ever. It may have even replaced his life long love of yellow cake/chocolate frosting.

Best Guy Food?
Geeky Girls
Nearly every Saturday, my husband and his friend hang out so they can play video games, nom on food, etc. I usually cook something very guy friendly because, well, more food is consumed when it's two guys eating rather than just my husband and me.

Bring on your best ideas! Nachos, chili, taco bakes, and the buffalo chicken casserole is out because I make these too often. I don't mind some prep work because I dearly love cooking for these guys (mostly for my husband).

And, the recipe for the loaded potato buffalo chicken casserole because it"s just so full of win that the guys and I approve!Collapse )

Pizza Roll Chili Cheese Casserole
Mountain J-Brew (Made by Allah Sulu)
So we had a bunch of stuff in the freezer to use up and decided to mix it with other things in the pantry, fridge, etc.

Came up with this:


Below the cut-tag are the ingredients, pics and preparation. This should all go in the oven at 350 deg until cheese gets bubbly. Microwaving the pizza rolls first helped to accelerate this and also you can squish them down in the bottom if you want a flat crust. You can also add in chopped up hot dogs, onions and garnish with sour cream (the sour cream plopped on top of each serving really made this good!)

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Reposted from a friend's journal with permission:

Wait - you're alternating spoonfuls of salsa with spoonfuls of alfredo sauce?
Yeah. The salsa helps open my sinuses and the alfredo kills the fire on my tongue.
We're out of milk. And I tried whipped cream, but it just didn't work as well.
That's it. I'm leaving.
Hey, if you're going out - pick up some milk?

Macaroni, Ranch beans and cheese
I was having a starch craving and a bean craving, so I found a can of Jalapeno Ranch Beans in the cupboard and some salad macaroni in the pantry and there was grated cheese in the fridge! So I boiled the pasta, heated the beans on the stove, and after I drained the pasta, I melted a little butter in the pasta, then I mixed the pasta and the beans together and covered them in cheese, which I stirred in.


Hand cooked Bloody Mary potato crisps (chips)
Hands up who has a hangover.

No? Either I don't believe you. Or more likely, you are still drunk.

In the UK, when one requires a certain "hair of the dog" the next morning. One more than likely turns to that most reviving of drinks, the  Bloody Mary. That amazing cocktail of tomato juice, Worcester Sauce, tabasco, optionally perhaps some salt and pepper and a natty celery-stick mixing spoon but most importantly, a double shot of vodka.

Well, no longer do we have to restrict ourselves to a liquid lunch.

Marks and Spencer, our favourite semi-upmarket purveyor of ready-meals has come up with the Hand Cooked Bloody Mary flavour crisp:

They are quite robust, rustic things,. In a similar way to old-style Kettle chips.
True to the cocktail they do contain (dried) tomatoes and celery (extract). They also contain garlic and onion  and cardamon, taste more or a spicy taco seasoning than of tabasco and I no matter how hard I try I can't find any alcohol in them.

So, sorry M+S. While these are nice enough in a spicy tomato kind of way. I might have to continue to seek my Sunday refreshments at the hand of the barman instead.

(no subject)
ivor novello gorgeous 3
Just had my first hotdog in years and it was delish. I'm not a veggie but I only eat veggie hotdogs because even I am not trashy enough to eat the 11% pork trimmings and mechanically recovered chicken bumholes and connective tissue kind that they sell in cans in our local Tesco Express.

I got a bag of ten frozen ones and have eight left to play around with so I'm thinking of making something trashy out of them. My mum used to put frankfurters in her potato salad but other than that I've no idea how to make a meal out of them, aside from the obvious hotdog fixings and some oven chips.

Advice please!

Taco Bake
Geeky Girls

I decided to make this taco bake for my husband and his friend for their weekly get together of college football, gaming, and whatever else. It is always quite the hit with these guys!

Recipe and a picture behind the cut...Collapse )

Taco Dip!
Geeky Girls
Trashy because of the ingredients!

Taco dip! (I so want to make this but my husband does not agree)Collapse )

I want to make this so I can have munch stuff for my extended weekend but my husband has gorged himself on his own faux Mexican dip this week:

The Man "Dip"Collapse )

(no subject)
I've come to the conclusion that the last week of my life has been an experiment into whether a person can live entirely off two-minute noodles (smothered in cheese), Nutella, Pepsi, and peanut butter on toast.

(Current signs point to yes.)

(no subject)
kari/scottie bitchslap
Deep-fried Mars bars are officially the most delicious things I have ever tasted.

Sadly, I had to stop at one fun-sized one because I was quite sure my arteries would have clogged instantly had I eaten any more.

The Super Brownie

One glass for you, one glass for me!
Go grab a glass of mild and get ready because this post is full of rich and tasty Super Brownies!

Do you have your glass of milk yet?!Collapse )

(no subject)
kari/scottie bitchslap
Any suggestions on trashy things to do with Greek yoghurt? I have way more than I expected because I forgot that I already had a tub and bought another tub.

Comfort food
I've just been dumped out of the blue by a close friend/someone I had strong feelings for. I need to drown my sorrows in (preferably sweet) food that doesn't take much effort. What trashy suggestions can you lovely people give?

Grilled Cheese and hot dog sandwich.
The Chicks Can't Hold The Smoke

I slit and grilled two Nathan's hot dogs. Then I spread margarine on a slice of cracked wheat sourdough bread, put it in the pan, put grated Mexican four cheese blend on it then put the hot dogs on top of the cheese. Add another slice of bread with outside buttered. Then cook both sides until cheese is melty! NOM this is so good. Perfect munchie food.


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