[Your Name Here]'s Famous Fake Hash Browns!
Can be halved. Probably should be halved.
- one half jicama
- oil (i.e. peanut oil)
- powdered starch (i.e. potato starch)
- onions (i.e. one small white onion, one small purple onion, and one shallot)
- garlic (i.e. eight cloves crushed and chopped
- salt (and other seasonings, i.e. your premixed mix of salt, pepper, marjoram, basil, and powdered garlic)
- ketchup (or hotsauce if you are one of those people)
Chop jicama very very fine, matchstick cut if available. A mandoline slicer works great. Rinse the shredded jicama in a colander, like one would pasta. Grab a handful of it and SQUEEZE. Squeeze as you would a lover. Squeeze until paramedics arrive. Then squeeze some more. Now get a paper towel and squeeze. When that one fills up, do it with another towel. And a third time. You will be glad you did this.
Chop coarsely your extras such as onions and garlic. Mix it all in with the jicama. Do one more paper towel on the whole mess.
Go to the wok or frying pan you've been preheating, add some oil, and put the mess in the pan. Spread it out. Take a massively heaping spoonful of your powdered starch and spread it as evenly as you can. Toss everything until the starch is evenly spread with no clumps visible. Let it burn a bit, then add another heapingest spoon of starch and toss everything again. Toss and burn to your liking, but make sure the jicama is cooked through.
Plate, add ketchup, and enjoy.